A few weeks ago I shared (or ranted) about one suggested solution for negative self-talk. Today, I wanted to share an article from my coach, Katie Humphrey, with you on some better ways to address this issue we all deal with.
Are you in a constant state of thinking and saying negative things about yourself? If someone gives you a compliment, do you argue with them about why you’re not so pretty, adorable, smart, good at what you do? Do you put yourself down and beat yourself up so you beat others to the punch?
Let’s settle this once and for all: Beating up and talking down to yourself will never, ever give you the healthy results you want. It will never help you lose weight (and if it did, you’d be just as miserable as when you had weight gain). It will never make you happy or help you love your life. And isn’t that why we want results? To have a better quality life? To be happier? Then why do we taint the process of getting what we want by sabotaging or bringing our negativity to every situation?
I’ll tell you why. Because you’re afraid. You fear that underneath it all, you’re not good enough, that you won’t get the results you want, that you’ll look foolish again, that you’ll never be loved the way you deserve. And until you’re aware of what deeper fear is controlling your attitude, you won’t be in control. You’ll look around for someone to blame and never take responsibility for your life. You’ll complain every time your tiny seed (that hasn’t yet been watered or properly cared for) isn’t sprouting into the flower you thought it would be. You’ll expect to fail and you will.
This is the cycle that many women live in, and it’s one that used to control my life. It keeps you trapped with thinking, speaking and doing things that yield negative results, brining down the quality of your life and keeping you selfishly hidden from your purpose. You see, I believe that when you change your attitude and beliefs, you shift the things you’re saying, which means you change your actions and eventually you get the results you want. And best of all, you look for ways to improve the world around you since you’re so happy with your own life.
Look at it this way:
Negative thoughts = body bashing and complaining (and blaming) = aggressive action or no action at all = poor results
(And all the while you’re consumed with your own life and only partially – if at all – focusing on making the world a better place.)
So, what if your life looked like this:
Powerful, affirming thoughts = positivity and confidence in everything you say = inspired action and persistence = results you want (because you’ll never quit until you get them)
(Now you’re breathing positivity and inspiration into the lives of others around you, and your inspiration motivates you to do crazy, powerful things to positively impact the world around you.)
If you want your life to resemble the latter situation, I suggest you do three things.
1. Start with your deeper beliefs.
What are they? If you don’t know or aren’t sure, think about it for a while. Your deep-rooted beliefs are running your life, so it’s worth it to sit down and think through what they may be. Once you know what it is that’s been holding you back, you can do something about it. For me personally, my deeper beliefs around my health (and losing weight) were “It’s never going to happen for me. It’s just not possible. I’m completely out of control when I eat. I’m not in control of my body. No one will love me if I don’t look a certain way.” Some of these things sound ridiculous or irrational, and they are. But that didn’t make them any less true for me. What are your beliefs? Write them down.
2. Challenge and replace your beliefs.
Once you know what your beliefs are and you’ve written them down, you can replace them with new, positive (and useful) beliefs. Sounds simple, but most people will never do this one step. Write down your limiting, negative beliefs on one side of a piece of paper and the new ones on the right side of the paper. You may write things like I did, including, “I deserve to be at my ideal weight of xx and I will have a healthy, vibrant body. It’s possible and certain for my future to live in a body that I love and that gives me whole, perfect health. I’m in control of everything I eat, and I am fully confident and in control of my body. I love myself and others will love me as I love who I am.” Now it’s your turn.
3. Repeat daily and purposely speak positivity about yourself and others.
Repeat your new, positive beliefs every day to yourself and go out of your way to speak compliments and kind words to others and yourself. When others give you a compliment, accept it and say “thank you.” Don’t be afraid to speak kindly about your abilities or accomplishments. Get used to saying nice things about yourself and building others up. This is a habit and only grows stronger the more you do it. After all, you (and your body) deserve a break from your negativity. Take a breath and speak only kindness and positivity for the next three days. See how it changes your life.
Your health and weight loss progress will soar the minute you take charge of your beliefs and the words you’re speaking every day. You don’t realize how your thoughts and words are affecting your moods and progress. It’s either going to make or break the results you get. Plus, the world deserves someone who is kind to their own self…and others. Start today and see how it changes your waistline…and your life.
Copyright 2012 Katie Humphrey
Katie Humphrey helps overwhelmed, overweight, exhausted women lose weight and create a healthy lifestyle the fun, simple and adventurous way! To learn more and get your FREE video series on “10 Days to Embrace Your Inner Rebel and Create a Life You Love,” go to www.KatieHumphrey.com!