Always one for lists and planning, I was inspired by this post from Tone It Up and Lauren Conrad to come up with some must do summer ideas. A lot has changed since I originally decided to come up with a list of things I wanted to do, but I think it’s changed for the better!

1. Take an actual vacation…it’s been a long time since I spent days away instead of a quick weekend getaway.

2. Have a “state of the union” planning session with Mike – check in, look at goals and finances, etc to plan for the 2nd half of the year.

3. See Great Gatsby

4. Stand Up Paddleboarding

6. Find the perfect summer theme song for this year (think Kenny Chesney Summertime).

7. Let loose at my summer concerts – John Mayer and Maroon 5 – woohoo!

8. Have a picnic (with Sweetie).

9. I’ve got a need for speed…in a boat on the lake.

What are your plans for this summer? Do you make a bucket list or play it by ear?

There are certain things in life we do without question when it comes to helping a family or friend in need. We ask ourselves questions, we wonder if we are prepared, and we talk about how we’re going to make it work, either way knowing that we will make it work.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the roof over my head, the food on my table, and the fact that I am in a fairly stable job. I’m thankful that we have two incomes. I’m thrilled that we’re able to support our family, even if it’s not as much as I would like to.

We’ve been thinking about looking for another home for awhile. We didn’t need a space, but we did need a better layout. Some of the rooms were too small, some too big, none quite how we wanted them to be. We can pay the mortgage, but it’s one of the biggest areas we could save in, and seeing as we were not in love current place, it seemed like a good option to explore.

Having an extra person has certainly made that more than an option, but a must do. Everyone could use a little more space and privacy, making the layout we originally wanted even more appealing. Having an extra person has also increased our expenses; groceries, utilities, dinners out and cell phone bills are higher, not to mention looking at helping to support someone with college tuition, a car, work clothes and other needed things until they get on their feet.

I can’t stress enough how this was a no brainer. We would cut and sacrifice where needed and make it work. This was more important than a new designer handbag or trading in the car for a truck. This has also taught me a valuable lesson – I went from counting every penny to believing in abundance and believing the universe would provide, then back to the lack mindset that has been with me most of my life. Somewhere, somehow there must be a fine line, a balance.

It make you think. How well do you know your financial situation? Do you have backup plans? Are you hands on with your money and aware your finances, or do you just go with the (cash) flow? If a situation were to come up that would bring more spending without additional income that wasn’t covered by insurance, how would you handle it? Has anyone else been in the situation – how did you handle it?

Sometimes others can say things more eloquently than we can; why recreate the wheel if you don’t have to? On that note, I wanted to share this newsletter on elevating your life from Ali Brown. These tips seem so simple but can have a huge impact. If you’re like me and feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start, the ideas below are a great jumping off point. Enjoy!

“5 Simple Steps to Elevate Your Life” by Ali Brown

Let’s see…when we last left off I had just started to recover from my incredibly clutzy fall from my chair, followed by my incredibly unlucky dislocated knee. I had finally seen a doctor (one who actually seemed qualified to practice medicine) and was recovering a little every day.

Ahhhh. Now I could finally give the craziness at work my full attention. It wasn’t that business had picked up. No, it was just that my boss had picked up and left for another area. As an assistant, my job is very closely tied to that of my manager. Not only did I continue to support my area, but little tasks for his new one would sneak in too, despite the fact that I was not moving with him. In the midst of all of this, it was announced that our region would be going through alignment impacting just my area and one other (of course). I’m all about change, but lets process for a minute. If everything worked out, I would  report to a new supervisor (who I may or may not like) and would be helping him/her run an area that no one knew exactly what it would look like. Worst case scenario, I could somehow end up with no manager and no area. AKA – no job. I also had potential to move up into a similar position supporting a different team under a well-loved manager…until they decided to leave the company. That left me with a position that may or may not be filled, and again would end up reporting to a random person. With the drama that comes with speculation of the unknown and the many transitions dragging from February into June, the uncertainty at work was stressful to say the least.

We’ve added a new addition to our household (no, we didn’t adopt and you didn’t miss any baby announcements). We’ve actually had another family member join us, and while the house is much more lively, it is, of course, a change and an added stress we’re not used to yet.

If all of this makes me seem whiny, I apologize. We all have stress, all at different levels that come and go. We also all handle it in different ways, and one of my ways has been to stop taking care of myself, to let things that are important to me slip (like this blog), and making me a little cranky with others because I have stopped doing these things. It also can make me whine in extreme situations (especially those lacking wine).

I’ve gained weight because I’ve used everything an excuse to not do things I know I should be doing. I’ve skipped more meals than I should have while eating things I shouldn’t have. I’ve spent more money than I should have, because I deserved it. I’ve stopped doing the things that could help me through these rocky times, like sleeping, meditating, reading, relaxing, and giving myself a break. I’ve fallen back in the trap of why should I show emotions, why should I show vulnerability, where is that getting me?

If there’s one thing I know from experience it’s this:

One of the first posts I wrote for this blog was the need to surround yourself with experts. One of the first posts I ever re-did, was my adjustment of thoughts on this, on how it may be better to be your own guru.

This was a battle that I went back and forth with, not only on the blog, but in my head. I’ve finally gained some clarity around the issue.

I’ve followed every expert out there on how to lose weight, how to be spiritual, how to start a business, and how to do just about anything else that I had ambitions to do. They were simple concepts, but I only implemented a few, and none of those stuck. I was a smart girl, what was wrong with me?

I realized recently that I could tell whatever latest fad I had been following by simply entering my password to various systems. Each login was like a history book of my failed attempts at change. I had lost myself in the quest to follow everyone else.

There had to be a way. In AA or EDA, there’s a saying “take what you need and leave the rest”. This was the answer I was looking for. There were things I could learn from all of these experts, and things that didn’t necessarily match with my beliefs, and so I could leave those things behind. With this technique, I could create a personalized lifestyle that I could implement AND stick with.

As for the experts, they have their place. They have things to teach me. And I have a lot to learn, about myself. And how to do the right things my way.

I’ve written before about badly behaving athletes and the fact that they share the same human struggles as the rest of us, despite the pedestals we put them on. It’s not often we see a pro sports player doing something  genuine, without cameras, not for publicity or as some  court or league mandated punishment. I know that many players have charities or foundations and that is a wonderful thing, but we rarely see a personal glimpse into the small gestures that can mean the most.

So thank you, Matt Kemp, for sharing a different side of the sports world for us. Thank you, for showing that for every Michael Vick, there is a Matt Kemp. While I still believe that athletes should not be role models, we all need to see more things like this then all the negativity the media shows us.

For those of you not familiar with sports, Matt Kemp is a Major League Baseball player with the LA Dodgers. During last week’s game he learned of a terminally ill fan at the game with his father. Despite a tough road loss, despite the boos from the rival crowd during the game, despite a tough season, here was an athlete who knew there was more to life than sports – much more.

After the game ended, Kemp went to the stands were the young man was sitting and preceded to remove not only to sign the baseball a coach had given him, but to strip off his cap, his jersey and even shoes and hand them to the boy. There were no TV cameras, no interviews, no publicity; just an incredibly poignant moment between strangers. Knowing that nothing could erase the pain of this father and son, Kemp did what  he could to bring them a moment of joy, even just a brief one, before returning to the dugout barefoot.

Turned out there was one camera; a friend at the game with the family caught the touching exchange on video. Thank goodness he did, because now as that video goes viral the world gets to see something worth celebrating even more than a win, something that we rarely see – a random act of kindness.

For those of you who haven’t seen the video (or want to watch it again), I’ve included it below. May Matt Kemp inspire all of us to brighten someone’s day with even a small gesture. You never know just how much it might mean to someone.

Now that I know what I need to do (infuse my life with joy!), it’s time to figure out how. Isn’t that always the toughest part?

I’ve been eyeing the new book from Daphne Oz called Relish since it came up as a pre-order in my Amazon recommendations  (yes, that would be Dr. Oz’s daughter, known for her show The Chew). Something about the cover, the title, the book just drew me in. When it comes to books as beautiful as this, I skip the Kindle and buy the real deal. Somethings really are just better in print, like a book like this filled with beautiful photos.

 The subtitle is one of the biggest things that made this book jump off the shelf and into my cart – “an adventure in food, style and everyday fun”. Doesn’t that sound just perfect for someone trying to infuse their life with joy, health, and a little spark? I can’t wait to spend a relaxing weekend curled up with this.

While my exposure to Cosmo is typically limited to Cocktails with Patrick, I love their summary of the book:

“Daphne’s young woman’s handbook is about living life to its fullest–not waiting for something to happen–at home, in love, or at work.” (Cosmopolitan)

And because I always love to share the synchronicity of the universe, I finally got a chance to watch Gabrielle Bernstein’s vlog for this week as I was cleaning out my inbox. What do you know, Daphne Oz was her special guest, and they were dishing on her new book. (Video is below for those who want to hear about Relish from the author directly). Clearly, I was meant to pick this up.

Have any of you picked up Relish yet? What did you think of it?
Are there any similar books that you’ve read and loved?

Just a little over a month ago, I was fired up with goals from Get Radical, ready to change my life with B-School, and ready to hit the road running. Ironically, I hit the ground…from my chair.

I quickly saw the curse was really a blessing in disguise. It was the universe reinforcing the message it had been sending with my exhaustion and related crap that it was time to refocus my energies, to take the deepest breath of my life, and to dedicate my free time to self-improvement since I had no excuse not to.

I had all these goals, broken down in small bites, addressing every aspect of my life. I planned to spend time writing, meditating, resting, and taking better care of myself (or letting others – if I can’t get up to get a soda, I can’t drink it, right?). I talked about riding the wave of emotions surfacing from being laid up for weeks on end. Frustration, pain, anger, sadness, boredom, gratitude, love and everything in between. Allowing myself to let all of the emotions truly flow over and through me, not just some, or not just on a surface level, would be a change.

Here I sit, a month later, and I have accomplished NOTHING.

That’s not entirely true…

• I’ve learned that it absolutely possible to storm out of a room on crutches
• that I can be just as productive, if not more, with a good lap desk and a mobile office
• that compromise is seeing two John Mayer shows instead of getting VIP meet and greet tickets for one, although I think I may have been heavily medicated for that one.
• I’ve learned that three gallons of sugar will help you forget there is no medicine to go down because your doctor told you to tough it out
• I’ve learned that I can watch the same 5 shows over and over again; in case you’re wondering, they’re Hart of Dixie, Better of Ted, Nashville, the Tudors and Giuliana & Bill.

But I didn’t accomplish any of my goals. Sure, I bought a goal planning workbook, a new planner (or two). I bought bright colored index cards and markers to make affirmation and goal cards (which I’ve just realized are essentially the flash cards I hated in school). I had the get up and go, and off I went…aimlessly, on crutches nonetheless!

Here’s the piece that ties all the jumbled thoughts above. Sadly, I just figured it out, as I get ready to go back to facing the demands of everyday life and the “real world”.  As usual, the universe stepped in with total synchronicity to make sure I got the message – blog posts, Facebook and Twitter all had something talking about joy, and how when our goals are not aligned with our happiness, when we dread instead of look forward to them or when they’re not aligned with our joy, we don’t make changes.

This is the missing key to making the lifestyle change that I’ve been trying to. There’s no joy in it. While I’ve learned to work through many other emotions, I’ve never focused on joy. So I guess my only goal for now is exploring joy and learning how to connect it to my goals. I know that I’m one step closer to the permanent changes I want to make, and that brings me joy for now.

When I found out one of the stops on Jillian Michaels speaking tour was close to home in Washington, DC, I knew I had to go. I was really excited to be able to bring Mike to see the side that isn’t shown on the Biggest Loser, and hopefully get him hyped up for the lifestyle changes we’ve struggled to make.

The ever important question in all of this is one that we all ask ourselves a thousand times…
what am I going to wear?
In the grand scheme of things, maybe not so important,but to quote one Primetime Deion Sanders…
“If you look good, you feel good. And if you feel good, you play good. If you play good, they pay good. And if they pay good, you eat good.”

I love this first option; it’s covered and classy with the blazer layered over a matching tank and the dark wash jeans, which makes it appropriate for a venue like Warner Theater with a speaker as opposed to a concert. The comfy flats and small, over the shoulder bag are practical for long walks and keeping hands free. The scarf not only adds an extra pop of color, but an extra layer if the theater is chilly. And how cute is that Juicy Couture ring if you’re only going to wear one statement piece?

Alternatively, you could go for a Spring look like the one above and still be very on trend. I love the mix of coral and mint this Spring! The mint handbag from Vince Camuto matches the super-affordable Forever 21 necklace and easy to navigate mint flats. I rarely wear blazers, so I “borrowed” this black sequin sleeve Eloquii one from Gwynnie Bee. A simple white tee is crisp and clean against the pop of the coral Jessica Simpson skinny jeans.

 I like to dress up a little more for events like this then I would concerts as other venues, comedy shows, etc. What are your thoughts on what is appropriate for an event like this?

I’ve been waiting for weeks to finish sharing my Get Radical Conference stories with you, and I’m finally at a place where I can start. Before I break down what the speakers shared, I wanted to start out with the goals that the conference inspired me to set. I’m still fine tuning them and they need to be flushed out a bit, but I’m always inspired by others and I want to share my start with you for that same reason.

First, have any of you done the Wheel of Life Exercise? I’ve done it a few times, and if you’re not quite sure where you’re life may be a little off-track, it is a great place to start. If you’ve never taken it or haven’t taken it in awhile, try this site to complete it. I’ve done it several times before, but since Doreen handed it out as part of her worksheets at the conference, I decided to do a new one since it had been awhile for me.

I won’t bore you with my detailed results, but let’s just say that sadly, my wheel was more balanced than I anticipated – but in the wrong way. That lead me to quite a few areas of my life that had room for improvement.

Career and Business

• Fully appreciating and giving my current position my best, while setting boundaries to reduce stress.
• Discovering where my skills and passions meet the needs of others and using that sweet spot to find a fulfilling  path to follow.

Money

• Continuing to have an attitude of abundance rather than lack.
• Be present and make conscious decisions regarding my spending, and be happy and gracious with money coming both in and out.

Health & Fitness

• Accepting my current health and weight, and accepting and managing my chronic illnesses.
• Taking control and a more holistic approach to my health.
• Losing the extra weight that will impact my type-2 diabetes, PCOS, high blood pressure and other health conditions.

Relationships

• Making more connections and friendships, while spending more time cultivating my existing ones.
• Reconciling family relationships in whatever way feels right to me.
• Commit to moving forward with my hubby to grow together and support each others individual dreams while creating ones
• Spending more quality time with my spouse to form a deeper connection.

Personal Growth & Spirituality

• Building and maintaining a daily spiritual practice.
  
• Sharing my story with others who need to hear it authentically and without fear.

Leisure

• Discovering what hobbies and interests I’m passionate about…where do I just lose myself and let time fly?
• Allowing myself to be imperfect in my leisure time, and even to fail, and not judging hobbies on that basis anymore.
• Scheduling quality time with myself on a regular basis, and keeping that date as I would any other appointment.

Physical Environment

• Patiently putting together a home with quality pieces that reflect both Mike and I, and is comfortable and inviting and makes us happy to be there.
• Decide what location is best for us; if not here, overcoming fear and laziness to find where it is.
• Keeping a clean and organized home that will be less stressful to spend time in.

There you have it, the basic outline of goals that the speakers and topics inspired me to set. Do you think they’re radical enough?

I’m very excited to share some of the stories of the empowered women who spoke during the conference and inspired me to set these goals in my next few posts and hope you will share some of yours in the comments below!