Snapbacks and Tattoos aka My Valentine’s Day

February 17, 2013 By 2 Comments

We had elected to skip Valentine’s Day this year, but we ended up with a nontraditional celebration instead.

I’m not keen on overpriced menus at overcrowded restaurants, and we both had to work the next day, so with our anniversary in just two weeks and Christmas (and my birthday) a little over a month behind us, it seemed silly to buy a present just for the sake of buying a present.

The plan was to exchange cards. Even Sweetie got one  from Romeo! Not only do these dogs use the postal service and apparently have the longest names ever according to the envelope, but they both have an odd sense of humor.

Dog Valentines Card

Doggy Valentines

Since Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday, as well as the day Mike and I met and the day we got engaged, I originally imagined we’d have some grand plan. I had made a hair appointment weeks back so I would be all girly and pretty. Even though we ended up with no plans, I figured it would still be a nice treat. As I sat there gossiping and getting primped, I realized how disappointed I was that we had put no effort into this year at all. Despite the fact that I believe it’s a made up, commercial holiday for the florists, chocolate producers and Hallmark, it has always been my favorite, with all the pink and glitter. More importantly, it had always been a special day for us.

I decided to pick up goodies from the bakery on the way home since I had no plans for dinner; let them eat cake! I think that made me one of those annoying people who celebrates something they said they wouldn’t, but I’ll  take any excuse for a cupcake, and I was driving right past the bakery.

It still didn’t feel like enough. Those of you who follow me on Facebook know that we had talked about matching tattoos, but hadn’t really settled on anything (since Mike didn’t like my idea that he get 99 and I get ain’t 1 – see the video if you don’t get it).  I called to tell him I thought V-Day was the perfect day to get tattoos; he actually agreed IF we could find one, and someone could fit us in, that it might not be a bad idea.

I knew I’d have to sketch something if we’d both agree on one and would have meaning. Did I mention my career as an art major lasted about one semester? My draft went through many, many revisions as I combined the symbols and quotes we had thrown about when we first had the idea. I finally came up with this:

a rough draft of our couples tattoo

I’m a total weirdo, so I work in Sharpie, white out and photocopies instead of pencil. This was just one of many. We had talked about the infinity symbol with initials, the word agape, and song lyrics but had also liked one we saw with a ship’s wheel and an anchor with the words “be the one to guide me, but never hold me down”.

It was relatively easy to incorporate the anchor into the infinity because of the shape, but the wheel was a challenge, as was getting the lines the right width. I finally nailed it, and Mike agreed! The tattoo shops were definitely not working with us. We called the ones in the area, and they were all booked or closed too early. It seemed that our Valentine’s Day was going to be a bust even after my brilliant idea and hard work. I remembered one last place a little further away that a friend had recommended, and although they originally said they were booked, when Mike told them what we wanted they agreed to squeeze us in – thank you N-Less Ink!

While other couples were buying flowers and eating fancy dinners, we rolled out in our finest  sweats. It didn’t take long since there wasn’t any color or shading and the design was pretty simple. By 7 o’clock, we were the proud owners of matching tattoos.

matching couples tattoo

Mike opted to get his on his chest, were it wouldn’t be seen in his uniform…or most of the time. While we opted to both get the wheel and the anchor in the infinity symbol, his says “be the one to guide me” above the wheel.

anchor and infinity couples tattoo

I have a less non-visible real estate than Mike, so I opted for my left foot. Unlike the one on my right, I put this one on the side instead of the top. My half reads “but never hold me down” under the anchor.

After running to Target for our tattoo care, we decided pizza delivery would be the perfect end to our day. Although we had been lazy originally, it turned out to be a perfectly fitting celebration for the two of us, and I couldn’t be happier.

I hope all of you spent quality time with your special person, or some quality time loving the most important person (yourself) and indulged in some chocolate or candy hearts without any guilt!

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12 Months of Romance – a New Series!

January 18, 2013 By 1 Comment

One of my intentions for 2013 is to deepen my relationships and my feeling of connection, from my friendships, to family to community and of course, my hubby.

I’m very fortunate that we have a great relationship; it’s not perfect by any means, but we communicate and are open and honest and try to love and respect each other’s opinions. While I don’t necessarily believe that relationships take hard work, it’s not necessarily luck either. It takes vulnerability, trust, a sense of humor, and compromise, along with a ton of other things.

Sometimes, it also takes a little fun! I have to admit that this is one area where I struggle. We’ve tried planning a weekly date night, but life, work, money and the dog get in the way and it’s hard to come up with ideas. I’m sure many of you have been there. What is a couple to do?

A search of “spice up your marriage” on Amazon yields results from books on marriage by pastors to guides on sensual massage and meals loaded with aphrodisiacs. You can even go the Fifty Shades of Gray route – it seems like every soccer mom in America has.

Google yields just as many results, from blogs like Still Dating My Spouse or shops with forums and advice like EdenFantasys, who I learned about by writing for them in the past.

For this month, I think we’ll start with reinstating a regular date night. Maybe once a week is too much; maybe we’ll focus on once a month and a getaway once a quarter. (Who says you can’t plan and schedule romance?)

And speaking of date nights and EdenFantasys, I had to share something I found on there while researching for this blog post. I’m slightly embarassed to admit it, but I was absolutely hooked on Girls Next Door, so I was kind of excited to see that Kendra has a new line of products that I love the name of – Love Candy by Kendra.

If you want to check it out, here’s the link for Kendra’s collection at EdenFantasys.  PS – the Love Candy kit is 30% off as of the publication of this post. Maybe this can be a jumping off point for a sweet date night!

And just in case you didn’t catch it from the name of the post, I’m going to do my best to share some ideas to boost your love life once a month – stay tuned for next month when I do my best to cook up something special for my FAVORITE holiday Valentine’s Day!

I’d love to hear your feedback and ideas too. What traditions do you have with your honey or what have you done to spice up your relationship or become more intimate?

Express your love with Vroom! Sex toys from EdenFantasys. Shop now!

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Sometimes Life Doesn’t Come With a Checklist

October 9, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Last week I talked about building a legacy of love, and I worry it’s one of those things that we can get very passionate about and just as quickly let fall by the wayside as everyday life gets in the way. My analytical brain wants to create action items and goals to keep from losing this vision, but deep down I know that method can’t be applied to everything. Sometimes we need to just give ourselves room to breath and to be.

It’s hard, if not impossible, to make the intangible tangible, the abstract concrete. Somethings can’t be analyzed, quantified, or made to fit perfectly in our little boxes, but that doesn’t make them any less real or important. It’s usually the opposite.

I can’t share a guidelines or a list of to-dos with you on this one; I wish I could, not only for me, but because I hate throwing something like this out there without steps to help others who want to do the same thing. I would be pissed if someone else did that! All I can share are my thoughts on how I got here and how that should impact the way I move into the future. With that, I’ve decided to share the below, though it’s a bit more raw and vulnerable than I typically go.

 

Life Doesn't Come with a Checklist

 Life Doesn’t Come with a Checklist by kristin-hodnett on Polyvore

It’s very easy and cliché to talk about loving yourself before you can love others, but it’s not something that I’ve truly understood or practiced before. Now, I feel like I’m starting to get it. Even something as silly and simple as hating my body blocks me from my ultimate vision. How can I radiate love to others if I don’t even feel it for myself? Perhaps that’s where the desire to love the unlovable comes from. I’ve convinced myself that because I’m not the ideal size or shape that I have no value, no worth, and am unlovable. I know how badly that feels, and I never want those around me to feel that pain. Action item = learn to love myself.

I’ve censored myself, held back from sharing my thoughts, tempered my opinions so they didn’t seem as strong as I’ve gained weight. I gradually built walls to hide the parts of me that I thought were simply unacceptable for someone who wasn’t a size 6, despite the fact that my weight didn’t change my brain, my heart, my integrity, or anything other than my dress size. My once vibrant and colorful wardrobe became all black, and that represented what was happening on the inside too. How can I make others feel loved for who they are when I can’t even accept myself? Action item = let the real Kristin shine through again. I’ve missed her.

The quest for recognition at work, the constant need to achieve, the desire for status and all the  trappings that come with it – could it be that it was all nothing more than my desperate attempts to finally be good enough? Did I think that if I did enough, I would suddenly be worthy? Were those moments of praise the closest to feelings of love I thought I could get? Action item = shift priorities to giving and receving love instead of things and praise.

Those aren’t easy items I can cross of a list, and they’re not the clear roadmap I typically like to have for my life. They are, however, important realizations to keep me moving in the right direction. Sometimes that’s the best we can hope for, and just put our trust in the universe to recognize and reward our intentions.

Filed Under: Personal Growth Tagged With: , , , , ,

What Will Your Legacy Be?

October 4, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Have you ever done the life coaching exercise where you write what you would want people to say about you at your 100th birthday party or even just stopped to think about what you would  want people to say about you after you’re gone? I got an unexpected wake-up call last week when a colleague suddenly fell ill at the office and was gone less than 24 hours later.

It was a co-worker in another department and office, someone who many of my team worked with and loved, but who I was little interaction with. Of course, any loss of life is tragic, and I felt for her friends, family, and the team who worked with her day after day. She was only 50; not young, but certainly not old.

As those around me worked through their feelings about this sudden tragedy, I was reminded that tomorrow is not guaranteed. We all know this, but rarely think about what it really means. How often do we think about how we spend our time, our energy, and our money or if we are using those things in a way that will leave the legacy we want?

It dawned on me that “worked overtime, dedicated herself to her job, never said no and was incredibly efficient” would not make a good tombstone, no matter how any poet could spin it, yet that was how I’ve lived my life. Since high school, I’ve focused on career, status, recognition and achievement, and while these are no doubt worthy things, they surely aren’t everything.

I began to ask myself, if not that, what then, would I like to leave behind? Is there really anything that can make it a life well spent? The answer I came up with is LOVE.  I tried to put into words how I felt about giving back, helping others, protecting animals, and showing those typically considered “unworthy” that they were indeed worthy. I ended up with words like companionship, compassion, advocacy, fairness, happiness and charity. While the question of what I ultimately saw this vision as seemed daunting at first, I quickly realized it all came back to love. 

Polyvore graphic Legacy of Love

Legacy of Love by kristin-hodnett featuring rings

I pictured loving myself and loving my life, and having loving relationships with my hubby, friends and family that enriched their lives. I saw myself using my love for animals and others who can’t protect themselves to fight for them, and to extend my love to impact their world. I felt a hole that I had tried for years to fill with purses, boys, lipsticks and food being slowly filled love. I saw the ice queen melting into a queen of hearts.

When you really stop and sit with it, what do you want to leave behind? What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want to be remembered for?

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Happy Valentine’s Day to My Hubby!

February 14, 2012 By 2 Comments

On a cold and icy Valentine’s Day five years ago, Mike proposed in our super tiny Leesburg condo. That beautiful day and beautiful ring kicked off a whirlwind year for us, filled with ups (the joys of wedding planning) and downs (a crazy unknown illness requiring a several day hospital stay and being laid off from my job) and everything in between. I knew that if we could survive the year that was our engagement, we could survive anything.

 

Since we both hate dressing up, we wore our football jerseys for our engagement photos.

 

Breaking ground on our new place!

 

 

So here we are, five years later, getting ready to celebrate our four year anniversary in a few short weeks. Like the engagement, our marriage has seen its share of ups and downs,but at the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy and un-Kristin-like, it keeps getting better.

Happy Valentine’s Day babe!

 

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